I am a lifetime underachiever. A professional nobody. Never worked for a company that had more employees than I have fingers. I haven’t been successful at anything in my professional life. I am 51 and I sell junk on ebay. How is that for a profession! Keeps me at home I suppose. I get to watch YouTube videos all day long. Listen to lots of music.
What it mainly gives me time to think of all the things I could of and should of have become. A professional triathlete. A football player! An outdoor magazine journalist. A painter. Hey that’s it! Most of my idols are impressionist. But yet I can’t paint a lick! Let’s see…..small business owner. Hated it!! Writer. I suck at writing. I suppose my list of professions goes on and on. Except for one….
Yep. That is it! Lennon said it for me. “You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one.” I am a dreamer. And that would be ok if I was also a doer! But I am not. So dreaming it has been.
Even now…when I sit home I dream about running up Alii Drive in Hawaii leading the Ironman World Championship. The crowd going crazy and I am thinking of my dead father being proud of me as Mike Riley says “Ron Greig, you are the (insert year here) world champion.” See dad, I told you I would amount to something!
Or the time I dream of charging the gunman at the restaurant bent on killing as many of us before he takes his own life. Alright Brian Williams, lets hear the headline on your newscast tonight as this little 5’6″ Cajun uses his past military training to use in his own country. 15 years after his discharge! I then return to my little hometown in Cajun country a household name. Only to drink himself into a lifelong stupor reliving that haunting experience. Fuck that! Next dream.
Two down in the bottom of the ninth inning. World Series. Me in pinstripes. NYC is now in the palm of my hands. I’ts 0-2 and I struck out my last time at bat. Wait!! Just freaking wait! That’s way too easy. Too many people dream about this as little kids. Move on!!
How about this one. I go to Barnes and Noble and look on the Best Seller shelf and there it is. My novel. Wait….my soon to be a movie novel. Directed by Rob Reiner. Staring….hmmmm lets see. How about Brad Pitt? Matt Damon? Got to get Sam Jackson in there for sure. He’s the father of the lead character. Kate Winslet? Can she pull off a cajun accent? Book signings tour. Plenty of “you saved my life” comments from my adoring fans!! How about that for a guy that didn’t get his degree but learned all my writing knowledge by reading Stephen King’s On Writing! Back atcha to all those who sent me rejection letters!!! In your face toilet face. Pure literature there!!
I could go on and on here. I am 51 and I know and accept who I am .
A dreamer. Does it leave me fulfilled you ask? Perhaps it does.
A dreamer. Does that make you happy? In certain moments it does.
A dreamer. Does it make me sad? Yes, often!
A dreamer. Does it pay the bills? Well, it has….sort of. I am not homeless. Yet.
A dreamer. Did you inspire to be one? YES in fact I did. To escape.
A dreamer. How do you explain that profession to someone? You simply smile and say “What I do for a living you ask? I am a dreamer. How about you?”
I am a dreamer. It doesn’t matter if I am not the only one. it is what I am.
A dreamer. It is the only thing I am good at. And it is me.
Till we meet again. Dream on.
Mind of Shoo