The mother and young daughter reached the alley behind the restaurant. The girl stretched her arms toward the sun for warmth and noticed the beautiful dress hanging from the balcony.
“Mama, you tink we ever be able to buy me a dress like dat?” she said pointing upward.
“Naw! Don’t be silly child. You know we aint gonna be able to afford anything like dat. Dats for rich folks. Be happy for what you got. Now turn a’round and take dis from mama, ya hear me,” she said holding bread still in its plastic wrapper.
Molly turned away from the bright-colored dress with tears in her eyes. “Yes ma’am,” she said.
I went over the word limit. Just couldn’t cut anymore and make this work. Hopefully it does.
This fiction was written for Friday Fictioneers.
Visit and read the rules and join in the fun!
Till we meet again. Good day.
Mind of Shoo
Mind of Shoo 
Wordcount forgiven for this awesome image you created! I can see it, feel it, and know it all tooo well.
Glad you felt it…what a wonderful compliment. TY
Break my cynical heart, why don’t you?
🙂
What a wonderful story and I love the title as well!
janet
Thanks Janet…glad you liked it. 🙂
I love this story. The dialect perfect and not overdone. A sad reminder that Cinderalla is just a fairytale
I was worried about the dialect..I had never written that way before. TY Bjorn. 🙂
Word count doesn’t matter when the result is this good.
That is a tremdous compliment especially coming from such a great writer like yourself. TY Sandra.
Oh, and now I’m blushing!!
A wonderful glimpse into a young, optimistic heart. Perhaps she will one day get her dress. Either way, her momma has her back.
very well said. TY
Good use of the dialect. It’s hard for children to learn the reality of the world.
Especially that reality. Thanks for reading. 🙂
I am sure there is extra words from the community we could collect to cover your balance. I liked the story and felt the little girl’s unquenched desire.
Thanks Joe. I will repay them at a later date 🙂
Good story. The dialect is internally consistent, which is all that matters. As for length, clearly it’s the length it needs to be. You can’t let yourself be restricted by arbitrary, externally imposed limits. Besides Rochells says “No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.”
(I’m comforting myself here. In four stories now, I’ve never managed to hit 100 on the nose. 🙂 )
Thanks for the compliments. Good luck on hitting 100 🙂
Dear Shoo,
What’s important is to make every word count. I’d never have known if you hadn’t told me that you went over.(This isn’t license to post a 500 worder ;)) It was a good story. I hope the child in this story rises above her mother’s expectations.
shalom,
Rochelle
No 500 worder…I did that by accident before. Thanks for reading and for the compliment on the story.
Very well done. Did everything it had to do in 100+ words. I’m posting my link because apparently it doesn’t work from the comments. It should be fixed on the inlinkz site.
http://pviljoen.wordpress.com/2013/05/31/last-dance/
A great tale, sad, a refreshing take on the prompt and well crafted dialogue.