I am a Literary Giant

I have exhausted all avenues.  My pile of rejection letters can account for its very own forest.  I have tried all genres.  

Poetry:

Rose are red violets are blue.  My writing smells like poo!

Or what about something deep.

Like this:

The raven flew above the home of those who are suffering.

Circling like a draft that swirls like the mind of someone in pain.

Those who suffer are not suffering but only feeling a pain that is not really there.  

Smile.  The sun is shining into your soul.

Oh yea!  Now that is deep.  Can you see the earth’s core from your spot next to that poem?  Bet you can!

Ok, lets try fiction:

My phone rings unexpectedly.  I answer with a quick “HELLO.” 

“Mr. Shoo, this is Aaron Priestly from the Aaron M. Priestly Literary Agency.  I stumbled across one of your stories on your blog.  The one about the guy who gets the girl and beats up the boy who had the girl. You know the one! Excellent writing.  Suspenseful!  You are a literary genius. I’d like to sign you to our agency.”

Wake up loser!  Your genius is getting people to waste time reading your crap.

How about speech writing:

“Our nation is at a crossroads.  Like one of our great leaders once said, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the oven. We are in a time of crisis.  When the going get tough, the tough go.  Our nation is one of division.  Long division.  And we have all failed math.  Expect for Bill Gates. And Lebron James. Pay your damn taxes and shut up.”

Wow! Where is Winston Churchill when you need him?  Or Martin Luther King. If that speech doesn’t get our ass in gear what will.

Want more.  Than stay tuned!  This blog is headed in the write direction.  You get it, right?  Or is that write?  Huh? Well you know what I mean.  My righting is improving. 

Like this.  Comment on this! Follow me.  I will be a literary giant!

This attempt at dry humor was written for Trifecta; Week sixty-five.

Using this week’s one-word prompt:

EXHAUST (transitive verb)
1a : to consume entirely : use up <exhausted our funds in a week>
b : to tire extremely or completely <exhausted by overwork>
c : to deprive of a valuable quality or constituent <exhaust a photographic developer>
2a : to draw off or let out completely
b : to empty by drawing off the contents; specifically : to create a vacuum in
3a : to consider or discuss (a subject) thoroughly or completely  

Please remember:
  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone.  Please join us.
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19 thoughts on “I am a Literary Giant

  1. Sounds more like you are pissed off beyond measure and had nothing better to say or do with your time. Many applauds for getting me to read your …stuff. BTW…in my world, I have to pay a quarter for saying “crap” …I supposed I should up the price to a buck for putting it in print. …anti-up big-shot

  2. I love the way you descirbe experimentation with different forms of writing. It sort of covers what I feel every time I sit down to write something, like I need to do something new and different. Really liked the “deep” poem. 🙂

  3. Very good! Haha, just kidding… it was funny, though.

    On giants, literary or otherwise…
    “There are so many people in this world, and so few dreams to chase, that no matter what you choose to thirst for, there will be millions upon millions of others trying to drink from the same cup. That makes for a whole lot of people going thirsty.”
    ~ Anne Schilde (Webster’s Kiss)

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