Putting yourself out there. This is a common phrase I hear about letting people read your work. When do you get the confidence to let others read your writing? Is it a matter of trust? Is it a fear of rejection or ridicule? I have lots of mixed feelings about my writing.
My therapist told me to write. She feels I have lots of thoughts on subjects that are important to me. I have always wanted to write but never felt I could because I don’t hold a degree or any formal training. Also, I don’t read all that much. I wish I did but my attention span makes it difficult. I try though.
I recently figured out something about myself. During some self-analysis of myself, I finally understood that my mind works in visual scenes and not words. I am not sure this makes sense as I don’t know anyone who writes. So instead of working on writing in novel or short story form, I begin writing scenes to tell my stories. This has worked for me. Words have come easily to me this way. I don’t know if my writing is good or not, but it is definitely liberating to finally feel good about my writing. So much so that I decided to let someone read my work. It’s a gentleman I have known for a few years. We have gotten to know one another better through high school cross-country, where our kids are both members of the team. I built a sort of trust with him over this past season. We have things in common besides our kids running. We were both in the Marines. We are currently both working only part-time. He paints, I write. So when I finally felt comfortable talking about my writing he took an interest in my work. I explained how I was writing about how two kids (one black and one white) who become friends in a small southern town in the early 70’s. I explained that no one has read it and that I was looking for someone to give me some simple feedback. He asked to read it and he would give me honest feedback. I know that he is not trained, but I felt comfortable cause of our budding friendship. Well, I gave him a copy of the script, which at that point was only 38 pages at the time. I put my name and phone number on the last page so he could easily contact me. Cross country season is over so I knew I wouldn’t see him for a while so it gave us an opportunity to have lunch or something in the future.
Well, that was over a month ago and still no word from him. This is perplexing not to mention really has been hard on me. It has affected my writing. What do I do? Do I attempt to contact him? How do I react if and when I do hear from him? It has made it hard me to trust anyone with reading my work again. I put myself out there and I don’t like the way I feel.