I would like to say that I know these two gentleman personally but quite honestly I never met them. However, I have listened to them, laughed with them and learned one thing about myself from them. Loveline, a syndicated radio call in show hosted by the above mentioned was my nightly friend for a few years. I owned a small business. Money was often tight or at times, not coming in at all. To alleviate the burden on my financially in the business’s infancy, I took a job delivering pizza. The hours were flexible, the money was decent and it was cash!
It was at this job where I listened to Loveline. In between deliveries there they were, along with the thousands of callers hoping for help with their problems. Dr. Drew gave his opinion, Adam often made fun of them and I listened. A common theme was addiction (Dr. Drew’s speciality) and the common cause was always traced back to childhood trauma. Over and over again Dr. Drew’s words were “did you have alcohol, drugs, or sexual abuse in your life as a child”. The answer was nearly always yes. And for me, I said “YES I did”! My father drank. And because of my fathers drinking, I always knew that when I was grown and settling down to start a life with someone I would NOT drink. In my mind it was simple! Why would I want my wife going through the experience my mom went through? Why would I want my kids to see and hear the things I did? The answer was simple, I didn’t. Why? Cause it was a horrible experience. It was unnecessary and it was avoidable if better decisions were made by a man with a great mind. But instead of that wonderful educated mind ruling our home, alcohol did. So many called Loveline and were repeating the same issues that they experienced as a kid. Except now, they were the problem parent. They were the alcoholic, drug addict or abuser. And it was their kids who were suffering silently as you did many years ago. How can they let that happen I thought. Over and over again, it was all the same. I can’t image letting my kids go through what me and my mom went through! I will say this, for me it was such an EASY choice! I can’t for the life of me imagine going the other way. I am messed up enough from my father’s alcoholism, I can’t imagine the mess I would be if I drank on top of it! To use the an old cliché, I broke the chain. It was the easiest choice I made in my life. I made this choice for my family.
I listened to the show for a long time. Adam was hilarious. They often had celebrity guest who show great insight or humor and was a great addition to the show. I would love to say I learned something from the show that I use in my struggles being a sober ACoA, but those people never called in. What I did learn was that for my own family I made a great choice. It is the single best choice I made in my life. I am proud myself. If only all other choices were that clear and as simple.
I want to end this post with a few lines from the song “Father of Mine” written by Art Alexaskis of the band Everclear.
Now I am a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear I’m not going to let her know
All the pain I have known
Till we meet again. Good Day.
Mind of Shoo